LEAVING

I’m leaving WordPress for Blogger. I’ll be using the old old address again from now on:

 

http://www.kosket.blogspot.com/

Um árslok og ferðalög

Árið 2011 var að líða. Nú er vikan rétt orðin hálfnuð en hún mun vera sú fyrsta þess árs sem komið er. Við Jóna héldum af landi brott í stórkostlegt og andstreymt flugvintýra yfir hafið og óvinveitt landamæri þann 15. desember. Komum við þó að flugvellinum að okkur varð tilkynnt um að flugið okkar hefði tekist á loft heilum sólarhring fyrr. Eða þá að við hefðum komið heilum sólarhring of seint. Við vorum látin borga einhver gjöld til að halda í miðana okkar heim, því í svona tilviki falla allir miðar, sem keyptir voru saman, úr gildi, skyldi maður missa af einu flugi. Það er að segja, nema maður borgi þessi gjöld, sem við og gerðum. Fólkið sem við leituðum aðstoðar hjá leyfði okkur að fljúga til New York, annars okkar tveggja áfangastaða, en þó þyrftum við að fleyta okkur fram sjálf á lokaáfangastað okkar, Montreal.

Eftir svefnlaust flug yfir hafið og inn í stærstu borg Bandaríkjanna hófum við handa við að koma sjálfum okkur til Montreal. Við fengum hjálp frá geðfelldri gamalli úrvinda konu sem komst í óbeint samband við Iceland Air starfsfólk á sjálfu Íslandi. Þá sagði konan okkur að Ísland hefði gefið okkur grænt ljós, en að ekki kæmi það þó til að vera skráð fyrr en kl. 9 næsta dag á íslenskum tíma. Á þeirri forsendu tókum við skuggalegan sendiferðabíl að enn skuggalegra móteli. Þar biðu okkar hlutir sem ég hafði aðeins séð í amerískum bíómyndum (enda vorum nú í New York, þótt ekkert til þess benti). Mótelið lá skammt frá víðáttustóru flugvallar- „svæði“ sem hefur örugglega verið töluvert stærra en öll Reykjavík. Í hjarta heillar iðnaðarborgar þar sem slagæðin er átta akreina breið. Við hliðina á húsinu blasti við eyðimörk gulra amerískra skólastrætóa í löngum aðlægum röðum. Anddyrið var svart, með litlu fiskabúri þar sem þrír eða fjórir veslings koifiska syntu hring eftir hring í kringum lítinn foss sem sendi frá sér blautan nið um allt anddyrið. Þrjár tröppur leiddu til gangs þar sem loftið var þakið speglum og veggirnir voru drapplitaðir, svolítið á litinn eins og gömul útmáð mynd af laxi í matseðli á einhverjum sveittum amerísk-kínverskum skyndibitastað sem boðar niðurgang.

Herbergið var til vinstri. Það var svo sem fínt, sæmilega hreint, en fyrir ofan rúmið var stór loftspegill, og speglar á veggjunum, og skrýtið sturtubað, og hrífandi útsýni yfir skólastrætógarðinn. Við hlógum, tókum myndir og pöntuðum okkar pítsu. Ég bjóst við þjóðsagnakenndri New York pítsu, kannski út af því að heilinn minn var í sultu. Hún var hins vegar fremur óminnisstæð, bragðlítil og skorpan of mikil.

Næsta dag vöknuðum við ríg eftir svefnlausa nótt. Ég kíkti út um þykku gardínurnar á skólastrætógarðinn sem var einnig að vakna. Hver einasti strætó á ferð í langri biðröð sem snéri beint inn til okkar.

Skuggalegur sendiferðabíll.

Konan sem sagði okkur að við hefðum fengið grænt ljós frá Iceland Air hafði rangt fyrir sér, eða öllu heldur misskildi. Við máttum ekki fljúga. Miðinn var orðinn ónýtur, ógildur. Eins og hálfs tíma flug kostaði upp í 90,000 krónur á mann. Ég hringdi til Íslands, en allt fyrir ekki.

Þess brjálæðis í stað stefndum við að miðbænum í gegnum flókna og uggvæna neðanjarðarlestakerfið í New York. Hver sekúnda sem maður kemur við súlurnar jafngildir tíu typpum. Svona var sagt í æsku.

Við keyptum rútumiða til Montréal. Níu tímar. Foreldrar mínir búnir að reyna að koma og sækja okkur af flugvelli tvisvar til einskis.

En svo lauk löngu heimkomu okkar um kvöldið. Ég sá nýju íbúðina hennar mömmu í fyrsta sinn, sá pabba, og allt var gott. Það var svo notalegt að vera loks í faðmi foreldra minna, þótt þau séu ekki lengur saman.

Litlir ljúffengir mömmumatarbitar voru bornir fram og foreldrum mínum tókst strax að slá á málefni sem kunni að tendra til óhjákvæmilegu tilhneigingar þeirra til að vilja alltaf rífast um eitt það ómerkilegasta sem manni dytti í hug að vera ósammála um. Í þetta sinn var það um alþjóðahafsvæði og vá þeirra í lögfræðilegu samhengi. Sjóræningjar komu einnig til sögunnar.

Pabbi hélt heim og við Jóna fórum að sofa.

Kannski að ég klári þessa sögu seinna.

 

Päivitys

No mitä sanoa. Aikaa on paljon kulunut viimeisestä päivityksestäni. En oikeastaan muista, mihin viimein päättyi, enkä tietäisi mistä aloittaa.
Istun töissä, Savulahden keskuudessa sijaitsevassa hostelissa yövuorolla. Voin olla pitkiin aikoihin yksin yhtään sielua näkemättä. Minulla on siis aika paljon aikaa, nyt kuin opettaminen on jo lopussa. Olen ahertanut kieleni määrittelyn. Olen kirjoittanut lukemattomasti ja kaikki etenee hurjaa vauhtia, ainakin aikaisemmisiin versioihin verrattuna. Olen myös ollut tosi hyvä saamen kielen opiskelija. Taitavuuteni siinä on kasvanut huomattavasti. Ensi lumeet on saapuneet vasta muutama päivä sitten. Toisaalta en ole harujoitellut suomeani kovin paljon viime aikoina. Voisin kai, mutta olen ollut niin paljon sisällä, etten ole viitsinyt ketään näkemään.

Nyt lähtö kotimaahan jouluksi lähestyy ja jännitys suurenee. En ole nähnyt perhettäni lähes vuoteen. Äiti on muuttanut uuteen asuntoon, myynyt lapsuudenkotimme ja lähtenyt entisestä väliaikasesta asunnostaan. Isälla on diagnosoitu valtimonlaajentuma munuaisten ja sydämen välillä. Muttei sen ole oltava vielä vahingollinen.

Jónallakin kaikki menee hyvin. Hän hyppää nyt itsenäiseen työmaailmaan hänen ja neljän muiden ystävien perustamalla yhtiöllä. He ovat jo valinneet nimen. Heille tulee annettua paljon apua lahjakkaista ja avuliaista ystävistä. Yhtiön majoitus on Kaffi Hljómalindin yläpuolella, toisessa kerroksessa pienessä ullakossa. Toivottavasti siitä tulee menestys. Olen tosi innokas auttamaan heitä ja olisin ylpeä jos saisin osallistua heidän onnistumiseen.

Meillä menee hyvin ja uusi asunto on mahtava.

En jaksa odottaa pääsemään uudestaan kuntosaliin trainaamaan uuden vuoden jälkeen. Minusta tuntuu joskus, että selkälihakseni ovat näivettyneet liiallisen istumisen takia. Mutta pyöräilen välillä töihin ja takaisin. Kipu johtuu varmasti siitä, että lauantaina (?), yhtiön perustajat (Jóna mukaan luettuna) kokoontuivat meidän luona ja siihen joutui juoduksi vähän viinaa. Sitten me mentiin Bakkukseen, jossa puuhailin nostelemassa ystäviäni kiihkeästi tanssien, niin kun minulla on tapana tehdä. Minulla on tästä ollut koko selkä kipeänä. Vanhenenpa.

Ja näin se suunnilleen kävi.

Toivottavasti tämä oli ymmärrettävää.

Me tales of danger.

When I was about 14, I went with my father and mother (I have an older brother but he didn’t come, which was a shame) to Cuba. There, we stayed at a hotel right next to a small village, which was somewhat unusual for hotels there. So our beach was shared with the people there, and it wasn’t a problem to find cheap illegal snorkeling deals. My father hooked us up with this cuban guy with a katamaran. We went out a couple of kilometers to the east along the beach. We stopped in the middle of nowhere, where this one diver was waiting for us. He gave us air tanks and just dove back into the water and we sailed on. This was now an illegal scuba diving trip with a 14yo and a 50-something father. We found this amazing coral reef, where the cuban guy instructed us to jump into the water. First he left my father take the air tanks, and then me. It was really heavy and I didn’t expect it to be this hard to hold yourself from sinking. I was looking at some coral that were shaped like vertical sheets or blades. There I saw a barracuda, and I decided to follow it. The water suddenly got lower (I imagine a very slow wave) and I had to hold my stomach in and not panic and sink, because there were like 10cm’s between me and the super sharp coral blades. And there was a barracuda next to me that could suddenly feel that I was scared shitless. I decided to try and keep calm and swim away without directly showing him my back. I don’t know why, but that seemed like the right thing to do.
So I backed out, and eventually the water rose again and I could let go of my stomach. After that, I have no idea what happened.

Later during that same trip, I was snorkeling alone on a kayak so far from the shore that I could hardly see my parents in the distance. Then I dived maybe 8-9 meters down to go check out a beautiful starfish. When I was at the bottom and about to rise up, I saw about 20meters away from me a shark turning around. I couldn’t go back up too quickly, or my head would feel like it was about to explode. So I had to keep my calm, again, and dive up like a boss in front of a shark. I got into the kayak and go the hell out of there.

Another time, we were on a boat on Lake Champlain and this girl (the boat owner’s daughter) and I were in the water being pulled by the boat, hanging on to a rope. Then I turn around and see a giant lampreys, about this size. I swam up to the boat and didn’t go back into that lake.

Scandinavian Bronchitis

How long has it been now? I’m not 1% of the blogger I used to be, back then when.

What is new;
I’ve now graduated from the University of Iceland. I’m planning on staying in the country. I’ve started a new job for Árnastofnun, as a shepherd of scandinavians. Ja se on tuonut paljon uutuutta. Mahtuuko se vai pitäisikös mahduttaa. Paljon uutuutta on jännittävää. Tai saattaisi vaikkapa olla vain, ettei uutuutta puutu vaan uusi vaihe sattuu. Ei voi hallita koska sellainen sattuu, eikä voi tietää, sattuuko se ollenkaan. Mutta täällä on kuin kukkasella, aika lyhyt meillä, siellä ilo loppumaton.

And so it continues. Close to high summer now, yet only one respectable day of it. Days are about to be at their longest. I’ve only seen a few oyster catchers. I haven’t been out of Reykjavík much either. I want to travel. It’s that time now, when I’m about to start working – no school. So hopefully I will finally have some travel pelts and be able to head to mother Scandinavia. It feels sometimes like I’m Odysseus, trying to get back to Ithaka, but I was unfortunately born just after I left from there. And…Ithaka is…Scandinavia.

Siwa progresses, as always. Verbal morphology is done for now, and I’m on nominal morphology, which is not as exciting and a bit harder to describe, I find.

As for this year, I have only a very faint idea of how I want it to play out. Hopefully, it will be good, better. That is the only progression I want. I also want to head home for a little while. I really wish I could have come this summer, but it seems unlikely. I love Iceland, but it’s not really summer until you wake up in a pool of your own sweat. And I haven’t biked at all this summer! I’d have giant legs by now.

It gets easier.
Right?
When am I getting that tattooed?

I don’t know what to think right now.
Big thing in exactly two weeks.
Then I’m here for a while.

Kauppiaan satama/salama.

Wolf In The Breast

Here I am.
I am sitting in this sofa where I’ve sat since the beginning of fall last year. I’m listening to music I wish I had discovered back when I was 16-17, back when I was the most concentrated version of myself I have ever been and probably will ever be. Today is Wednesday, but I am not at work. I usually work from 4.30 today, the only day of the week when I work. But the end of the classes and there is nothing for me to do there. Except that last week and this week, every day at 9.10 I am a teacher of Icelandic to 4 people around my age, at Mímir. I am a teacher and I do teachers’ things, like planning a class or having games. I really enjoy teaching and the people there have been nothing but great to work with. I am really proud of myself, too. I often stop and think “wow, I know all of this by heart, and I know so much. Yet, I remember not knowing any of this, learning it, and forgetting it or not understanding it. I remember my own mistakes.
I’d say I’m starting to be pretty good in Icelandic.

And here we are, Jóna and I. I new phase, starting with the Gallinago Gallinago’s arrival. The winnowing like the song foreboding more of everything good and calm.

And I am writing my BA-thesis, reading and writing about the development of color vocabulary in Icelandic and Proto-Indo-European. I have nearly 4,000 words of 10,000. I must get going this week. I’m expecting a bit of a mental block because that’s a lot of words.

Coincidentally, I have gotten a very long ahead in my morphosyntactic description of my language. I’ve written 30,000 words over more than 90 pages about the verbal morphology, with every single example glossed through IPA, underlying syntax, glossing and English, like;

ỉski kautsġa suvua pila gaikomi
[ˈi:sci ˈkʰaʊtsχa ˈsuvua ˈpʰila ˈgɑigɔmi]
ỉski-Ø kautsġ-a suvo-Ø-a pila-Ø g-a-iko-mi
woman-act make.jam-tr berry-dat-pl red-dat cop.past.concl-ass-elat.rel-1p.ag.sg
‘the woman whose red berries I turned into jam’

My life is looking forward for the opening of the days, the greening of the grass, the shining of the sun late into the bright night, the taking of the shine, the hunt for a house, the flight of many birds.

I have been listening to Cocteau Twins and Fleet Foxes and I feel like I am living in a taiga glade and my hair smells like the pitch on my hands.

No. Yes. It gets easier.
(tattoo?)

Here I am, looking asymmetrical.

vulpes leopus

2 texts in Siwa.


Oaikami tahkimouhi da

Tsavma sả, bauvvo sả, mảhria sả te tyry ṡika, iri seįuri noa useta ỉlba odami, sednita sẻhkuri ka; nega tảhkite dakami sabmike samu-ỏg dakima; įuvvake sỉhdi-ỏg sami, mauhkake įasukka-ỏg ka. Kehkovsimi ẻukkasami sỉd-ỏg ka.
Neskahami odne dỉme umibma misikka nami, tảhkime õkkiska-ori dįeri te dỉndi dẻska nami; makuoma maki otundatomi; amilaruoki ręna-ỏg. Notsuema notsa otundami; asymu hingoru gakata nenda – ủgga-ỏg akka-ỏg namekkis. Heįolakasġuri ủska-ori kulenuma. Megi tasġia ṡika, nuvika oihmattia-ori. Neskahami saumodvibi, te imủkkaka tora, uoraka oṡika misimatta.

Vappami atsiokika da

Neįa atsiokima, ỏmi osaįogga, ỏvma ġustila amohtu terre atraia setekkua, ỉke sisertekkuari kevta naġa koaskimauhia koavvauhi. Neįa atsiokima, nepsi kansika-ha mủvma osaįo keupikkua, ỉke sisti havma oskos kelutaskuaga kevta naġa kelelkieįa keįustotime.
Tastakkia-uri koavka, piustila sauska kobua osġaįogga. Komi ůtů-mi siustu; nauki sisi-mi sarkodġsi; nobema ulteri-mi honotima. Ỏsigga atsiokima; meįa savla besġis.

Astood

So HALLÓ 2011.
The passage from 2010 to 2011 was, now for the third time in a row, at Heiða and Sverrir’s in Grafarvogur. Heiða is Jóna’s mom, and Sverrir is the boyfriend. Three years I see explode up in the air from the top of Grafarvogur.
Coming back was good. Being gone was also very good. 10 days in North-America. My ultrashort american winter – a success.
Now this last semester at Háskóli Íslands (University of Iceland, of course) is shaping up to be the busiest one. First of all, I am now an assistant teacher at HÍ, for a class in practical Icelandic (60 credits for foreigners who wish to learn Icelandic more quickly, I would guess). I will teach a group of 20 foreign students once a week for the whole session. It’s my first time doing this and it’s really exciting. The course is called Orðaforði II (vocabulary II).
There is one other assistant teacher – she’s my age and is called Úlfhildur.

To boot, I might start teaching Icelandic level 1 at Mímir, as well as keep my job there at the registration.

AND I am writing my BA thesis this semester and I have not started – not written a single-st word.

I’m thinking of writing about the different in meaning between using a weak adjective or strong adjective with a determined noun, e.g. undir bláum himninum vs. undir bláa himninum (under the blue sky)

I’m really freaking proud, to say the truth, to be able to start as an assistant teacher at age 22, with less than 2 years (all in all) in Iceland. I’m priding in my pants.

timespunn

I feel timespunn. When one feels dizzy by the turning of time.
Right now, lying in bed next to sleeping Jóna. Just finished watching Eastbound & Down. I feel this rush of heartbeats when there shouldn’t be.
Soon Iceland will be over. The last school year is half way through. What do I do? There is nothing for me (to do) in Montréal, but my family is there. My staying here longer is a constant worry. Am I going to apply to the master’s degree in Finland for next year? Will I spend the next two years in Finland? With Jóna?
I don’t want to come back to Montréal to live without knowing what I would do.
Have I enjoyed my years here as much as I owe it to my (teenage) self? Am I really twenty two years old?
Was I really only 3-4 years old when the X-Files started? Have I really lived longer in Iceland than in the 80’s?

I will never be twenty two years old, no matter how many years I see. I’ve already forgotten the years I promised to never forget. I don’t want to not know these things, I don’t want to forget these years. I don’t want to have to think of memories in terms of years ago. Why can’t everything happen within a few months ago? I have no idea how many weeks pass by. Doing nothing of my days feels like closing my eyes on a swing – everything feels faster. I’m afraid I’ll wake up in may and will want to cry the last three years back to me.
Why does it seem like I have a deep inability to enjoy the present moment and take part in it? Another session spent at home. Another session, like the first one, the second one, the third one, the forth one. A fifth session of university that feels like nothing. School is too easy, or too hard for the wrong reasons. I never take part in things. I only work on my own language, learn Finnish on my own terms.
I don’t care about what people have to tell me. I just want to find out myself.

I have lost contact with nearly all my friends who were the center of my social life before I left. I never imagined 3 years could feel so long at home but so short in Iceland.
I guess since time never ends, never starts, is not palpable, continuous, it also exists in all speeds at once.

I wish I could get out of Reykjavík more often. Like this weekend. Just being outside. It is so endlessly good for me. And now that I go to the gym everyday, I know how easy it is to get to do something that is good.
I just want to live this slowly somewhere as slow as me. A city is a bad place to never do anything.
A forest is a great place to do nothing. Because you have to do so much to be there. Whereas I can wake up and stay naked for the whole day and never take a breath of fresh air and go to bed, and the day will have been nothing at all.

I wonder if I ever will move to the forest, like I want, like I plan.
I hope I do.
Build my house, build my language. It will feel like coming home, being able to see all those things I know how to describe in the language no one speaks.

Young Montrealer takes to the forest and disappears. Comes out 10 years later speaking an unidentified language. Is so rugged.

It feels so good to be 16 again.

I’m alright I’m alright I’m alright I’m alright. Yeah.

About Kael.

So I never forget about whence he crawled.

Suųekkįo kevta sõkka monoma, ba sanevli kevta tủkka monokka.
You were born into the shape of a pale man, but you grew into the shape of a ghostly stem.

This weekend we Jóna Sverrir Heiða Orri and Lilja went out into the country and had an awesome time at the sumarbústaður. I don’t really nenn to write about this now but just in case I forget.

Everything’s been easier.